its a mommy thingy

i have been thinking for a week now, whether to go or not on the emirates assessment.. and for my interview in ceb. all my friends, including you guys (who read my blog and left comments on my chatbox) said YES/GO!! i would like to go, too, with all my heart, i know its really a yes. but sometimes priority comes first. and being a mom for my baby, i think is my calling.. as for this time. im sad coz i really want to attend the assessment and interview.. but my kid needs me.. and i cant think of myself, my dream, my career first before her. i know i should not be feeling this way, coz in the first place it was me who made the decision of not going.. its just that i could not take the happiness that i would feel if ever i would do good during my interviews, while my baby is crying at home looking for me. i cant take the guilt. it kills. seriously. i need to sacrifice. now i know the feeling, its really different when you are really a mother. you would feel for your child. heartbreaking. i am not giving up on this dream.. maybe, its not yet my time. maybe there is a reason why this is happening to me. i am positive. im still hoping.. looking forward.. i know. one day, i would also be up there.. serving caviar, in first class.