back so soon?

i came from manila, plan was to apply for 5j, skypasada (ground steward), screening @ ipams, brunei air, & oman.. heres what happened.

arrived manila at 5:20am. i went home straight, ate breakfast.. took a bath, put on my uniform & make-up. then prepared some more for the screenings. first stop was training and development center. (5j) i forgot what time i arrived, i was applicant # 41. (numbers were random) i was pretty confident. NOT nervous at all. because i have experienced going through it already, so my feeling was, it would just be the same process. my friend jboy even called me and i was happy talking with him that time.. no bad vibes was felt. i swear. then while waiting for my turn to be screened, 2 more ladies then me... i suddenly had a strange feeling. i could not explain it. i was perspiring and feeling cold, then butterflies was felt in my stomach. i was thinking twice. to go or not.. i dont know. it sure was weird!! my turn came, i walked in the room, smiled and greeted the interviewer. 

she said how may i call you? 

i said just call me d.......

she said im ella, i will be screening you for blah.. blah...

miss ella then started asking questions, like

why am i applying for fa...

how many times i already applied...

who screened me last time...

what happened during my last application...

so i answered her honestly, i told her that its my 2nd time to apply.. 1st was that i was screened directly @ the inflight service by ms titith & ms mariksi.. and i was supposed to be batch 58.. i just got pregnant thats why i did not push through with my application..

after that she asked me to stand on the x mark on the floor, measured my height.. then let me removed my blazer, asked me to stand on the t mark, checked on my legs, and arms, also my face.. then asked me to smile at her..

before i left the room, she told me that if i receive a txt or call from her, i would go back for a scheduled interview, and if not, that just means i did not make it.

i went home to have lunch first then i went to wcc anonas, for an interview.. they started skypasada. and asked me if i wanted to try out as ground steward. i had no plans for that afternoon, so i just said yes..

i had exams, and have been interviewed for ground steward position.. i will not go detailed with the questions, they were easy anyways..

it was 4pm, and still no txt/call from 5j.. so i decided to meet my friends and have dinner somewhere in makati.. while having a blast with them my phone rang.

it was from my mother, asking me to go home asap (baguio) coz my daughter was crying non stop.. and they dont know what to do anymore.. (my daughter turns red hot when crying, so it really scares them) so what i did was canceled all my appointments for the next day (going @ ipams, brunei air, oman... etc ) including whether or not to receive a call from 5j..

i went to the terminal, and had a trip booked for baguio @ 8:20pm..

I DID NOT MAKE IT. no call nor text msgs reached me.

at first i was wondering why, and started asking myself what i did wrong. i made it the first time... so what should be the reason why i did not make it this time? then, i just realized, things really happen for a reason. whatever reason it is. im just happy im with my daughter now. :) maybe i should not stress things out. no more pressure this time. being a mom is still my calling.. im not saying NO MORE flying for me. its just that, im surprised i did not feel bad after not making it. its my first rejection by the way.

now i know how it feels when you say child first before anything else. aww.. im such a mushy mother. lol. no hard feelings at all. :) to those who made it, and to those whose still waiting... i wish y'all the best. never give up yeah? :) i will see y'all soon. believe me God has his own ways! :)